Sunday, March 01, 2009

Harris for Congress!

That's right. By now most people know Dr. Harris and what he stands for. And I have it on good authority that he will seek the GOP nomination next February and will defeat the incumbent next November.

We conservatives in Anne Arundel county see in Andy Harris some one who makes us proud to be Republicans again. And we thank Mrs. Harris for allowing us to take him away from her again on the long campaign. How proud, though, she must be of her husband who has the ability to inspire total strangers, incorrigible cynics and party faithful alike to see in him a faint glow, a flicker of light in the miserable fog that has been our political existence for the past twenty years.

OK. So I know you are all on board. There are a few things to remember as we take the next steps:

1. Website! - Go to the web site and make a donation!

2. No Libertarians - You guys, quite frankly, are not Libertarians, you are communists and we'll thank you to stay home this time, ok? Either that or just register as Democrats and vote for the Democrat.

3. No Rockfish Republicans - Just the join the Libertarians and stop stinking up our party.

4. No Eastern Shore Philosophy - Socialism, children, doesn't make a distinction between one shore or the other. Mr. Kratovil is discovering this right now. If you want to display how special you are and how much you think we need your chickens and corn then why don't you just blow the Bay Bridge or wall it off. Then we'll see how far your Eastern Shore Philosophy gets you.

Come to think of it, you would be better off if you start downsizing now, because if you send Kratovil back to Congress then there won't be too many people interested in your corn and chickens. Get a good price for your farms and stock now while you can.

5. All comers - at the same time! No half-way through, half-hearted, vote-sucking also-rans! Let's get everyone on the table from the get go. Right, Pipkin? Banks? You wanna play, you take the same risks as everyone from the jump. Otherwise you just cement your reputations earned in the last election as tools of the opposition and ballot buzzards. Thanks to people like you Andy now must face another liberal incumbent!

And a word of advice for Andy: Don't get sucked in by those jellyfish in the NRCC. You are meant for a higher mission. The NRCC does not represent conservatism. It is strictly an incumbent-protection racket. Take their money if you have to, but dump them as soon as get elected.

1 comment:

bud said...

Ah yes, ole Andy and his hardcore followers just knew we'd come crawling back on our knees. Of course, you're right Mike. Now that he's decided to bless with another opportunity to be our leader, he's not going to accept just any kind of follower. Instead, we will listen to lectures about what our ideology should be.

Also, send him a healthy donation. If we're lucky, he may actually acknowledge it. If he simply walks away without so much as a nod, we'll know he's just as displeased with us and he was with his supporters on election night.