Eastern Shore Philosophy

The Annapolis Kapital, in its continuing campaign against Maryland Republicans, last night ran an exhaustive, in-depth study of why it thinks Andy Harris should not win the District 1 Congressional seat this November.

Now, to call the Kapital-paper reporting one-sided would be redundant. But the Eastern Shore "Republicans" have given the Kapital-paper (and by extension the Democrats) a gift. Federal election officials might want to investigate whether misguided Republicans have provided essentially an in-kind campaign donation to the Kratovil-for-Congress campaign.

It seems that the disaffected Gilchrest staff and blood relatives have taken issue with their brethren in District 1 for turning out their man and have been actively campaigning for Kratovil. They have noticed how the anti-Republican press (again, redundant) begins to drool when they sense a split in the party, especially when that split would lead to a Democratic victory.

So the "Eastern Shore Philosophy" was born. What is this philosophy? The newshounds over at the Kapital-paper don't tell us. Is it all that important? As long as there is a split in the party that could lead to a Democratic victory, who cares what they call it? Let's take a stab at defining it. Eastern Shore Philosophy:

1. Is what comes galloping WEST across the Bay Bridge every morning, in search of Western Shore philosophy money
2. Is blaming the Western Shore for all the environmentally unfriendly activity, such as forcing gigantic poultry farms onto the peaceful and environmentally-sensitive corn farmers and watermen of the Eastern Shore.
3. Is taking all the Western Shore Tourist dollars then blame them for the beach-going traffic jams.

Here's a message for the "Rockfish Republicans:" Why don't you find some self-respect, change parties and send the Kratovil for Congress campaign, the Sierra Club, the ACLU, the Obama campaign and the Islamic Republic generous donations? As it is, you are hijacking Flight GOP and providing the bottom-feeding press (I know!) with all the red meat they can digest.

You can't have it both ways. You can't have Western Shore money AND Eastern Shore philosophy. Please spare us another sappy, sickening Kapital profile on the Eastern Shore Indians who want nothing more than to live in peace and harmony with nature. I don't much care whether you live or starve on the Eastern Shore, just don't register as Republicans. OK?

Thanks.