Global Warming & Population Explosion

A match made in Hell. Surely there's a link between Global Warming and Alar-poisoned apples or DDT. Hmmmm? Well, I am sure the devotees of the mass murderess Rachel Carson are feverishly trying to establish this connection.

Until then, Paul Ehrlich, call your agent. I smell a lucrative lecture circuit in your future. The Stanford University biologist, you see, published his theories that by the end of the 1970's we would all be starving or fighting for food (not oil) or suffering a depletion in the world's supply of....oxygen (not oil). In the Population Bomb, Prof. Ehrlich argued that the world's population of people would outstrip the world's supply of food to eat, places to live, air to breath, etc.

Unfortunately, it turns out that the world's population is suffering from obesity, diabetes and, yes, longevity all resulting from the supply of too much food in those parts of the world where people are generally free to pursue happiness. Well a Canadian paper has picked up the 40-year-old trail, conveniently leaving out the 40-year-old history of over-population predictions and has ginned-up a new theory on which to base the now-dubious "science" of man-made global warming. There are too many people, you see. And do you know what people do? Breath! They breath in oxygen and exhale.....pollution!

But wait, there's more! All is not lost because the Chinese have hit upon a solution. The one-child policy. That's right. Chi-Com families are punished in ways that would make Kim jong-Il blush for being over-reproductive, and our Canadian brethren are just amazed that the civilized world has been slow to adopt this policy. To make matters worse, this issue has "crossed the radar screen" of CNN's Jack Cafferty who brought it to the Situation Room late last week.

Do we look like fools or what? Here we sit with egg-foo-yung on our faces while the Chinese population in 40 years drops by two-thirds! They will voluntarily kill off two-thirds of their population just save the polar bears! Here all this time we thought they were monsters just for running their own people down with tanks and infantry. And all we do is complain that they are not stopping the use of oil and coal and not spending billions to grow ethanol, erect wind-turbines. Oh, wait, only the conservative Republicans are complaining. For the rest of the world, it is enough that the Chi-Coms are conducting forced-sterilization and infanticide to enforce the one-child policy and ...save the polar bears!

But I think the one-child policy will have drastic consequences for the U.S. of A. If the Chinese population drops by two-thirds, who will buy our Treasuries? Where will we get all of our cheap electronics and Happy Meal toys?